


Cartman gets a Sibling

by LunaMidnight1141



Category: South Park
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26682922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaMidnight1141/pseuds/LunaMidnight1141
Summary: As the title suggests Eric Cartman gets a sibling. this is the story of adventures surrounding the event. So it'll be a few chapters till you see the new sibling. I reference some episodes that I've seen, but I have not seen all of Southpark, so bear with me if it might not reference anything that might contradict it all. for now rated T but later it might get bumped up.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Cartman gets a Sibling

**Author's Note:**

> Again I haven't seen all of South Park although I Appalled any who has. I'm aware I have paceing issues, but this has been in my hand an din my google drive for a while and I started to write more of it so i decided to upload the fist chapter. as with all my fics, this is also cross posted underthe same username on fanfiction.net.

In the little mountain town of South Park, Colorado in a little light greenhouse, not a creature was stirring except one Eric T. Cartman. In the early morning of 3 am at the beginning of January just before school started up again, one would think that Cartman would be playing video games or sleeping at such an hour. However, now he was slowly creeping up the staircase with a small but sturdy sledgehammer. Why? Because at Christmas he was informed by his mother that he would be a big brother and that she was due sometime in June. He did not take that information very well and was now planning on doing the horrid act of causing a miscarriage.

He knew that this would hurt his mom in ways more than one, but he’d be damned if he would be overshadowed by a diaper filling brat in his mother's eyes. He soon enters quietly into his mother's room and she is sound asleep with her belly up and out of the covers. His plan was to find where the head would be inside her belly and strike it down before it could see the light of day. He crept up to the bed on surprisingly light feet despite his weight and carefully placed a hand on her belly, while the other held the hammer.

It was then when he was looking for the head that everything changed. Instead of the head, he was greeted by kicking feet, swift and stubborn. Only having started as soon as his hand was there like the child inside knew it was him. Cartman soon found himself unable to go through with his plan, something deep inside himself burst and snapped when they started kicking, just like his friend told him so, how fortunate and unfortunate that he was. Till that point, Cartman wanted nothing to do with the child inside his mother's belly, but now he couldn’t wait to see them in person. 

He sighed giving into the feeling inside himself even though he couldn’t quite place what it was just yet. He got himself so calm in fact that he dropped the hammer on the floor, jolting him out of his stupor and his mother out of slumber. It took him one good nudge to move the offending object underneath the bed, he’d get it later, or never who knows. His mother, Liane sat up groggily with a start before spotting her sweet son. “Oh, Snookums did you make that noise sweety?” She asked curiously, wondering what the noise was and why it was so loud.

“Uhhhh no mommy, um I heard a big noise too and came to check on you, um...I think it woke them up too, they’re kicking a lot.” Cartman replied his hand still on her belly. The kicking was only now starting to diminish, probably because the small child inside was getting tired. “Oh I wouldn’t doubt it, Eric, they will tire themselves out soon, do you perhaps want to sleep here for the rest of the night?” Liane asked sweetly. Cartman nodded before pulling himself up onto the bed and snuggling into her side, Lower than his usual so he’d be closer to her belly. Liane yawned after her son settled in. “Alright then sweetie goodnight we can check and see if it was those raccoons again in the morning,” She replied settling back into bed. “Alright night..both of you.” Cartman said before closing his eyes falling fast asleep. Liane smiled at that before going to dreamland as well.  
\---  
Several weeks before….

“So...you’re not only pregnant but you're also going to keep it?” Cartman asked his mother after she broke the news to him. His three friends Kyle, Stan, and Kenny were just behind him surprised but not in as much shock as he was. Kyle, however, was the main one to react to his accusation. “Dude, did you seriously just ask that? She said she got pregnant in September, If she was going to get an abortion she would have already.” “Oh shut up Kyle your family chose to get Ike, My mom here was probably raped for all we know.” Cartman replied before his mother spoke up over the two boys. “Eric I wasn’t raped, and I am keeping the baby. That's final.” Liane firmly replied. “Ugh whatever I’ll be in my room.” Cartman growled before pushing past his friends and up the stairs soon slamming his bedroom door behind him. 

In front of the three remaining boys, Liane sat down on the couch looking downtrodden and defeated.”Oh, I wish that could have gone better, I’m sorry you three had to see that.” Liane apologizes to them. Kenny stepped up and shook his head “(no need to be sorry.)” he muffled out politely. “(I know what he’s thinking, I’ll talk to him.)” He muffled again before heading upstairs without waiting for a reply. He heard a soft thank you from her as he went and left Kyle and Stan to comfort her, both of whom were confused at what he meant.

It didn’t take Kenny long to get to Cartman’s door, and even less time to barge in without asking. As he closed the door behind him Cartman spun around to yell at him, At first thinking it was Kyle. “Haven’t you heard of knocking you- oh...what the hell Kenny you know what knocking is right?” Kenny nodded in response waiting for him to rant at him before he would speak. “Well Dammit Kenny I didn’t say you could come in, hell you didn’t even ask, what do you even want? Are you going to give me a lecture just cause you're a big brother too?” Cartman snapped at him while pacing his room.

This time Kenny shook his head, then he did the unthinkable and pulled down his hoodie, which got Cartman not only to stop his pacing but to give him his full attention, even though Cartman’s face said that Kenny was going crazy. Now with his infamous orange hood down, Kenny’s face showed a well of knowledge beyond his years, was that due to his cursed immorality or not was up for debate, but it was obvious even to Cartman that he had something to share that related to his situation.“I didn’t want Karen at first either you know,” Kenny replied easily looking Cartman in the eye. Cartman looked at him like he grew five heads but didn’t comment on it because of the intensity in Kenny’s blue eyes.

“Surprising I’m sure, but when my mom announced that she was pregnant I was upset, Not really because of the sibling rivalry since I already have Kevin, but the cost, you of all people know my family is poor, I didn’t see a need for another mouth to feed, so I decided to try and take care of it myself. I made an anti-pregnancy concoction and mixed it with some vodka, mom’s favorite, and went to give it to her, but then she had me feel her belly and all I felt were kicks, kicks from my baby sister. At that moment I couldn’t go through with it and gave the drink to my dad, who thought nothing of it. I felt at that moment even before I knew she would be a girl that I was going to protect them to the end of time.” Kenny explained his gaze with Cartman never wavering. 

Cartman, however, did look away after the explanation. “That sure explains how Mysterion came to be, but this is different, It’s not about money, I just don’t want a sibling. So what the fuck is your point Kenny?” Cartman snapped. “The point is, right now you don’t want them, but come time and you’ll never want to lose them.” Kenny replied before putting up his hood and leaving the room, not waiting for a response for the third time that day. Cartman stared after him and seethed to himself. “Yeah right...like that’ll ever happen.”  
\---  
Present-day the next morning...

Cartman was the first to wake up for once in his life. With his mom still lightly snoring next to him and his new sibling to be slightly moving inside her. Cartmen sighed to himself still blinking the crust from his eyes as he stared at the ceiling. He just laid there and thought before he eventually cursed. “Dammit, Kenny why do you have to be right…” He mumbled to himself before he heard the doorbell ring downstairs. This, of course, woke up his mother as well. “Was that the front door?” She asked still half asleep. Cartman bit back one of his usual sarcastic remarks in favor of leaving her to get ready for the day. “Yeah mommy I’ll go get it, you just get ready for the day.” Cartman said sitting up and sliding himself off the bed.

“Oh alright, schnookums I’ll be down to make breakfast in just a bit.” She replied earning a nod from her son as he left the room. As Cartman waddled himself down the stairs, still in his pajamas, the doorbell rang again. Cartman growled as he reached the bottom of the stairs and rushed to the door swinging in it open ready to ream someone a new one for being impatient, but he stopped short at the sight of his friend Kenny. 

“Oh hey, Kenny, what’s up?” Cartman asked simply. Kenny raised a curious eyebrow at Cartman at the lack of a rant, normally if he answered with his pajamas, it was because he just got woken up and wouldn’t hesitate to let whoever it was known, Kenny himself was no exception. “(good, didn’t I wake you?)” Kenny asked, caulking it down to a fluke for now. “Oh no, just woke up before the doorbell went off, just didn't get a chance to get dressed, wanna come in?” Cartman asked moving aside for Kenny to come in. “(sure.)” Kenny replied walking inside noting a second odd thing. Usually, Cartman would ask what he was there for and whether it was worth his time before his mother would invite Kenny in for breakfast, Cartman never offered him inside before. Kenny was skeptical at this point but was willing to give the benefit of the doubt.

Any skepticism Kenny had was not detected by Cartman, not yet anyways as they headed up the stairs to get to Cartman’s room. Before they got to his room however, Ms. Cartman came out of her own room ready and dressed for the day, and with a peculiar sledgehammer in her hand. “Oh good morning Kenny, It’s good to see you, I was thinking of making waffles. Does that sound good to you boys?”She asked sweetly. “Sure mom.” Cartman said eyeing the sledgehammer like he wished it would disappear into thin air. “(Of course, Ms. Cartman, what’s with the hammer?)” Kenny asked after spotting Cartman’s apparent disdain to the object and wondered if it evolved what he was thinking. 

“Oh, this? I don’t even know, I found it under the bed, I was going to put it away downstairs,” Ms. Cartman replied with a shrug as she headed for the stairs. “Well you two don’t take too long, I’ll see you downstairs.” Kenny gave a nod as she went, then he rounded on Cartman who bolted inside his room. Kenny followed casually knowing what it all meant now, the strange behavior, the hammer, and the reaction he got just now. Once inside with the door closed, Kenny waited patiently as Cartman busied himself getting dressed for the day. It was obvious that Cartman was avoiding all eye contact with his orange-clad friend even going into his small closet to change.

Kenny waited till Cartman was finished and out in his room again before speaking. “(soooooo ...couldn't do it?)” Kenny asked knowing the answer already, he just wanted to know what excuse Cartman would make. “...Yeah. But it’s not because I suddenly care about them, I just figured they should have a fighting chance against me is all.” Cartman replied simply. “(a fighting chance? You never give a fighting chance.)” Kenny called him out easily. “Yeah well, I can make an exception for my own flesh and blood can’t I?” Cartman asked before spotting the top of a knowing smirk behind Kenny’s hoodie. 

“Don’t look too far into it Kenny, this doesn’t make you right.” Cartman replied stubbornly. It did make Kenny right but like he would admit it to him. “(riiiight keep telling yourself that.)” Kenny replied, getting an angry glare from the fat boy. “Whatever Kenny you’re not right, now let's go get breakfast already.” Cartman damn near commanded as he pushed past the poor boy out of his room with Kenny following and giggling to himself.  
\---  
Later after breakfast…

“I can’t believe this, Why did she have to tag me on the post, now my phone won't shut up.” Cartman complained as they headed to the park to meet up with Stan and Kyle, all the while a constant ping sound emitted from his phone. Kenny had his out and was currently contributing to the post in question as he followed. “(surprised she didn’t post about the pregnancy sooner, to be honest)” Kenny mumbled simply before giggling at what someone wrote.

“What are you laughing about?” Cartman asked, irritated. “(check the post yourself to find out.)” Kenny replied without a beat knowing the fat boy was avoiding it at all cost, even with his recent developments, it was just more of Cartman’s denial. Cartman growled at his reply but begrudgingly took out his phone and opened the offending app already seeing how blown up the post was from the last 20 minutes. “Oh fuck me….” Cartman growled out seeing a few of the comments already congratulating him to some extent or another. The comment from Craig Tucker must have been the one to make Kenny laugh since it stated that getting a younger sibling would do good for the fat fuck. “(is that an invitation?)” Kenny asked with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle. “Shut up Kenny.” Cartman said as the park came into view.

Cartman put his phone away which closed the app and the pinging resumed, although a tad bit slower now that the post has been up for half an hour. As Kenny put his own phone away Cartman spotted Kyle and Stan at one of the many park tables. “Hey assholes, you gonna make out or are we gonna hang out?” Cartman said blinking after a second knowing that was a crappy delivery and he hoped the smart ass jew in front of him wouldn’t notice. This whole sibling thing really had him off. Kyle in question did notice but with a sly look from Kenny decided to throw him a bone. “Shut the fuck up fatass, we were reading your mom’s post and seeing what everyone was saying.” Kyle replied simply scooting over so one of them could sit. “Yeah, you're getting a lot of support actually, the girls are even taking a poll on what everyone thinks the gender will be.” Stan explained scooting over as well. Kenny sat by Kyle and Cartman sat down by Stan. 

“Oh, goodie...I'm so excited.” Cartman said sarcastically even though inside he wasn’t entirely sure what gender he’d want his new sibling,” It’s South Park dude, of course, there’s bound to be a poll, so get over it.”Kyle replied before seeing Kenny get out his phone again.”Going to do it?” The jew asked. “(Yep I’m betting on a girl.)” Kenny replied as he put his entire amount of confidence in it. “Really? I think a boy, of course, this only goes for what they come out at birth who knows what they’ll choose later on.” Kyle detailed before looking over at Stan “Stan what did you pick?” “I went with a boy too, I think a girl might be too much for Cartman. What do you think, Cartman?” Stan asked him. Cartman frowned for a second unsure of what he wanted and then recalled that he was supposed to not want it. “How the fuck should I know, I don’t fucking care…” Cartman replied stubbornly, getting a shrug from Stan in response.”Whatever dude.” Stan replied.

After that, the conversation dissolved into other things including the return of school the week following, By the time they all got up to go get some lunch at the Broflovski residence, pinging from the post had died down to a crawl, but Cartman still didn’t look at it since the last time. Butters had also shown up at some point congratulating him and picking a girl in the poll. As they got to Kyle's house, Butters also stated that the poll has favored the baby being a boy so far, but that he was still hopeful. 

Once inside the home, Cartman was greeted by an over-enthusiastic congratulatory hug from Kyle’s mom Sheila. To say Cartman was disturbed would be an understatement, but it was short-lived as Mrs. Broflovski plated up the sandwiches she made for them before heading upstairs with one for Ike who was busy doing a project. “I hope that never happens again…” Cartman seethed as soon as she was upstairs. “Oh please, you should be grateful that she’s being nice to you.” Kyle replied. “Whatever Jew.” Cartman replied before biting into his sandwich.

After Lunch the five boys played video games until one by one they had to leave, Butters, of course, was the first to go because of his strict father. Kenny went with him, so he could walk him home, even though it wasn’t too far from Kyle's house, just past Cartman’s of course. Stan got permission to spend the night of course, and after an appropriate gay joke to Stan and Kyle, Cartman took his leave as well.

Once he closed in on his own house, Kenny was walking back from the Stotch residence since his house was across the tracks. Kenny looked a little sad as he walked away from the small blonde’s home but lit up slightly seeing Cartman. “(Hey dude.)” Kenny greeted. “Hey Kenny, He got grounded again didn’t he?” Cartman asked knowing the answer already as Kenny nodded solemnly. “(Yeah, for a shit reason again too.)” Kenny replied, his blue eyes showing anger for a split second before he calmed himself. 

“(so for real though what do you want the gender to be?)” Kenny asked seriously. “I told you guys already I don’t know and I don't care.” Cartman replied stubbornly. Kenny sighed, pulling down his hood in mild frustration. “I’m not asking what you think they will be, I'm asking what you would want them to be.” Kenny replied looking at Cartman intensely letting him know that he knew of his denial. Cartman frowned, keeping his gaze level with Kenny for a minute before he finally looked away and sighed knowing that Kenny could be a force to be reckoned with if need be. “I don’t know…” Cartman admitted aloud

Kenny sighed too figuring that would be that case. And as much as he’d like Cartman to admit that he wanted the sibling he wasn’t about to push his luck now. “Well, if you figure that out, let me know okay, I won't tell a soul.” Kenny replied as he replaced his hood around his face. “Yeah, sure, whatever. See you tomorrow Kenny.” Cartman said turning and heading up the walkway to his front door. “(yeah later dude.)” Kenny mumbled before heading home himself.

Once inside, Cartman was greeted by his mom who was passed out on the couch with an almost fresh bucket of KFC on the table. Cartman sighed at the sight and went upstairs to grab a blanket. After coming back and setting the blanket over his mother. He grabbed a plate of chicken and sat down on the floor in front of the couch by his mom’s belly and began to eat his dinner. He also switched the channel from some talk show to Terrance and Phillip. With his head leaning against her belly he could feel the child inside moving around a bit. When he was done eating it didn’t take long for the subtle movements to lull him to sleep. It was also a few hours later when Ms.Cartman woke up and got him up to help her put away the food and head to bed properly. Cartman ended up sleeping with his mom and future sibling once again under the guise that his sibling liked him sleeping there, which was only partially true.  
\---  
The following week played out similarly with the exception of Butters being grounded much to the dismay of Kenny. So the last week of winter break came to an end a lot quicker than any of them wanted, especially Cartman who was dreading all of their classmate’s congratulatory comments and the like as they headed to the front doors of the school from the bus on the first day the school was back. Butters, who was no longer grounded, sat with him and Kenny and tried to reassure him that it would be alright. It did anything but it’s intention as they entered the school.

Not even two steps into the elementary school and Cartman was already approached by three of his classmates, three girls to be exact. The creator of the poll and currently off girlfriend of Stan, Wendy Testaburger, her best friend, Bebe Stevens, and lastly his own ex-girlfriend Heidi Turner. The latter two hugged and congratulated him on his development, while Wendy stood back and spoke to him. “So you haven’t put what you thought your sibling might be, that because you don’t want them or what?” She asked practically already knowing the answer, it was Cartman after all. “Yeah that’s right, and even if I did I wouldn’t know what I’d want right now anyways.” Cartman replied prying himself out of the two hugging females. Heidi let go first like she just remembered that they weren’t together anymore, while Bebe took a bit more force to get off in her enthusiasm. 

Wendy frowned but took the answer as is. “Well, congrats anyways Eric.” She replied with a sigh sounding like she was sorry not for him but for the new sibling. It twisted Cartman’s gut more than he cared to admit as the three of them walked off to get to their lockers. Cartman shook his head and headed to his own which was right next to Kenny’s. Kenny was waiting for him, having been in full view of the exchange. Kenny was able to see the difference in demeanor in Cartman at Wendy’s reaction even if his face didn’t show any signs, he was just that good at reading people. It came with being the quiet kid in the orange parka.

“(Still in denial?)” Kenny asked as Cartman opened his locker and got his things for class. “Shut up Kenny.” Cartman replied automatically without a lot of bite to it. This did not go unnoticed or left alone by Kenny. “(It would be easier if you just admitted it you know, not even to everyone else, just yourself at least.)” Kenny replied causing Cartman to look up at him with a frown. “There’s nothing to admit Kenny…” Cartman stubbornly replied as he closed his locker and turned and headed to class. Kenny sighed knowingly before following after him to their fifth-grade class.  
\---  
In class, Cartman was greeted and bombarded by just about everyone else in their class, and it was nauseating. His stubborn replies of not wanting the sibling or not knowing what he’d want for their gender got mixed reviews. Most shrugged off his responses caulking it down to it being Cartman, others gave him looks similar to Wendy’s and it still didn’t sit well with him in his gut, and a few decided to tease and say that he was in denial (which wasn’t too far from the truth). Only Craig seemed indifferent, although he was like that with everything and simply flipped him off in reply before sitting down with the rest of the class. 

Cartman was in the second seatback closest to the door, with Kenny next to him and Craig on the other side of Kenny followed by Tweek. It became glaringly obvious to Cartman the three of them were exchanging notes and they were certainly about him if the glances from Kenny and the understanding nods from South Park’s favorite gay couple had anything to say about it. Cartman was pretty sure Kenny was telling them of his “denial” and he wasn’t sure how he felt about them knowing either, so he let them continue instead of getting them into trouble like he normally would have.

The rest of the day seemed to calm down since everyone who knew did their thing in the morning. So by the time school ended and Cartman went to put his stuff away in his locker he wasn’t expecting a note from Craig to fall out upon opening the metal door. It was a simple request to meet at the coffee shop that Tweek’s parents owned and operated. It was only simple in that way though, the reason for the meeting was not written and Craig was well known to hate Cartman’s guts for terrorizing his boyfriend. 

Cartman was tempted to not show up when Kenny unexpectedly spoke up next to him. “(You should go, I promise it won’t be bad.)” Kenny spoke causing Cartman to jump in surprise much to his amusement. “Dammit, Kenny. What the fuck!” Cartman snapped at him before what he said registered. “Oh, so this shit was your doing ey?” Cartman asked accusingly. “(I might have a hand in it, but that’s how I know it won’t be bad okay?)” Kenny muffled out with a barely visible grin. “What would he even fucking want?” Cartman asked exasperatedly. Kenny shrugged even though he knew the answer. “(Go and find out yourself, I gotta go get Kare-bear and Trisha from their class, see you later.)” Kenny replied, turning and walking away before Cartman could stop him. Cartman growled as he watched his friend leave but then finished shoving his stuff into his locker and headed out of the school and to Tweak’s coffee.  
\---  
Later Cartman entered the small coffee shop, the last few customers of the hour getting their coffee and leaving as he came through the door. Other than that it was just Craig sitting at a booth with Tweek cleaning a table nearby. Tweek’s parents were both behind the counter as well and asked if he’d like anything. He declined simply stating he was there to hang out, they accepted that and proceeded to leave Tweek in charge of the front before going to the door to the back of the shop. As they did so Cartman walked over to Craig and Tweek. “So why’d you ask me here, Tucker?” Cartman asked cutting to the chase already uncomfortable here without any of his friends there with, hell he’d even accept the jew’s support at this point.

“You can sit down you know.” Craig replied simply not phased by the question. “I’m good…” Cartman replied trying not to lose his patience too quickly. Craig shrugs, taking a sip from his coffee that Tweek made him before finally answering. “You changed your mind on having them during the break.” He stated simply looking up at the fat boy. “I’m curious about why someone like you would change.” Cartman rolled his eyes at that before responding. “Oh, so Kenny told you, jeez what a friend…” Cartman sneered although it wasn’t as angry sounding as he had hoped at making it sound. If Craig noticed he didn’t comment on it. “More like confirmed my suspicions but yes he did.” Craig replied. “Well, it’s none of your damn business on why I changed my mind.” Cartman snapped at him defensively.

“Fair enough, but I know of two others that might be able to get an answer from you.” Craig said matter of factly. By now Tweek had taken a seat next to Craig and giggled at who he was referring to while glancing at the front door. “Wha?” Cartman began to ask before the bell that signaled that a customer came in sounded followed by two shrieks of excitement. The owners of the shrieks tackling Cartman to the ground as he turned around. They were Craig’s little sister Tricia and Kenny’s little sister Karen, Kenny was by the door laughing his ass off at Cartman’s expense. Cartman groaned from the Impact before looking up at the two little girls above him. “Hi, Eric!” Karen greeted with a bright smile. “Hey.” Tricia greeted in a similar tone to that of her brother’s.

Now to say Cartman was surprised by all of this would be an understatement. He never really interacted with the two girls personally before, He only really knew of them really. The only younger sibling he knew personally was Ike and he hated the little Canadian, but with Tricia and Karen he never really messed with, in fear of the wrath that was their brothers. So now with them on top of him greeting him like it was an everyday thing, he honestly had no idea how to react so he stuck with the basics. “Uh, hey girls.” He replied lamely as he blinked up at them still a little disoriented from the impact with the ground. 

“Congrats on your mom’s pregnancy, we're all hoping for a girl, but how do you feel about it?” Karen asked excitedly. “Probably not great Karen.” Tricia replied with a smirk almost egging him to say different. Which he does in a way. “Uh well...at first maybe…” Cartman replied, glancing around quickly at the three boys nearby feeling a little cornered as he continued.” but I’m...mulling over the idea of being a big brother...I guess..” Cartman admitted as he fought a blush at his admittance. There were smiles and smirks from everyone in the room in response as Karen’s eyes lit up “Really? Oh, that’s so great. Do you know what you want for them to be?” she asked, genuinely curious. “Um… not yet really.” Cartman admitted again.

“Oh that’s fine you got time, Maybe start imaging different scenarios and place your potential sibling in them and see what fits you.” Karen suggested. “Like what?” Cartman asked confused. “I don’t know maybe something like this?” She suggested again gesturing to their current settings. “Uhhh what?” Cartman asked again before Tricia jumped in. “Like for example imagine coming home to your little sibling and they excitedly glomp you to the floor, stuff like that. You can also ask these two dorks and Tweek for suggestions too.” Tricia said the point at the two big brothers with her jab. Craig automatically flipped her off while Kenny just rolled his eyes coming closer to the group from where he was previously leaning against the windows. “Uh right yeah, I’ll figure something out on my own first.” Cartman replied feeling a little bit better at the support he was getting. Which was weird for him to say the least. “Uh do you two mind letting me up now, I’m still on the floor…” He spoke after a beat of silence.

Both girls shot up off of him sheepishly. “Oh goodness, sorry Eric. “Karen replied apologetically. “Yeah whoops.” Tricia added not sounding like she was sorry but that was normal for a Tucker. “It’s fine girls.” Cartman reassured plainly as he got up to a sitting position before being helped up the rest of the way by Kenny. 

Once on his feet, Karen was in the booth opposite Craig and Tweek patting the spot next to her, while Tricia waited for him to slide in so she could sit on his other side, which would trap him there in the booth. He wasn’t too willing to do so but as he went to deny the silent request Karen gave him the saddest look which only initiated a low growl from Kenny right behind him. Either one would have made him cave so it was no surprise to him as he sighed in silent defeat and slid into the booth in between the two girls. Kenny followed suit by sitting on the same side as Craig and Tweek.

Cartman felt very out of his element sitting there, and even Kenny’s presence didn’t help. So When Kenny asked the girls how their day was, and Karen launched into a story about her day, he let his mind roam as he stared over the side of the booth at the bulletin board not really reading any of its contents. He started to take the advice he was given and started to think of how he would be like when his own sibling launched into a story about their day. Regardless of gender, he wasn’t entirely sure how’d he be. Would he be attentive and engaging like Kenny or even Kyle? Or would he give just enough attentiveness to get by like Craig? Or would he let his mind drift like he was now? That last one seemed to like him the most since it was the most asshole move out of the three, but at the same time, it just didn't fit.

He didn’t get a lot of time to think about as a pair of fingers entered his vision and literally snapped him back to reality. It was Tweek who was now standing ready to get them all drinks. “Dude y-you almost scared me, we’ve been trying to get your attention for a few moments.” Tweek explained. “Oh uh sorry, I zoned out.” Cartman replied, still coming back since he apologized so easily. “No shit sherlock.” Craig responded without a beat. Cartman just rolled his eyes before Tweek asked him what he’d like to drink and since he knew he wouldn’t be able to pick no in this situation he ordered hot chocolate, no whip, lots of marshmallows. Satisfied Tweek went off behind the counter to make everyone’s drinks. 

“So Eric how was your day?” Karen asked, smiling and looking up at him. She looked like she didn’t mind that he zoned out during her own story, must get that from her eldest brother Kevin. Without thinking he spoke the truth. “Suffocating.” He replied before it clicked on what he said and tried to backtrack. “Uh, I mean…” Cartman replied before being stopped by Karen. “No no that’s okay, it probably was with the first day back and everyone giving their congrats, that’s why we waited till after school, right Tricia?” Karen asked her best friend. “Yup.” Was the reply as she was now playing on her phone, which didn’t bother Karen. “Oh. thanks.” Eric replied sounding a little surprised by the consideration they had for him. Haven’t their brothers told them all the bullshit he’s done over the years? They shouldn’t even want to associate with him let alone take in considerations for him. Hell, his own sibling shouldn’t have to deal with him.

“Hey, Eric?” Karen called out bringing him back once again. “Oh sorry, Karen what?” He asked blinking at his first use of her name, it felt nice to say oddly enough. “You got a lot on your mind I’m sure, but did you get any sleep last night? You look tired.” Karen asked, smiling in understanding reading him like a book just like her brother. “uh... yeah, I guess I didn’t.” He replied sheepishly. “I think after we get our drinks you can walk us to Ike’s and then head home for a nap sound good? I mean you don’t have of course.” Karen suggested in the question.

“Oh no that sounds good, what are you doing at Ike’s?” He asked curiously. “Science fair project.” Tricia spoke up this time with a shrug. “Ah getting the nerd to help you, is that it?” He asked with a small chuckle. Karen giggled too “something like that, so you’ll walk us?” Karen asked for clarification. “Sure why not, it’s on the way.” Cartman replied. “Cool thanks dude now I don’t have to leave.” Craig thanked him genuinely. “And I can hang out with Butters at City Wok sooner. Thanks.” Kenny replied with a hidden grin. “Oh I see pawning your sisters off on me cause I live close to their destination, you know you’ll have to owe me now right?” Cartman teased feeling a bit more at ease now to jab at them as usual. Craig rolled his eyes but agreed “Yeah sure whatever.” he said as Kenny shrugged in agreement. “(Sounds good to me dude.)” He replied as Tweek brought the drinks. 

“I take it that you three are l-leaving? Don’t let any aliens or government agents take them away now o-okay? Gah!” Tweek requested as he set the drinks down, Hot Chocolate for Cartman and the girls and coffee for the two big brothers. “Yeah yeah, nothing’ll get past my authoratah.” Cartman said in his brand of South Park drawl. Tricia got up as soon as her drink was set down to let him and Karen out and hugged Tweek goodbye. She also hugged Kenny but merely flipped off Craig who returned the favor. Once Cartman got out of Karen’s way she hugged all three of them before heading to the door with Tricia. “Later assholes, I’m sure they’ll text you when they are at Ike’s.” Cartman said goodbye before following after the girls. “(Later Cartman, If I don’t see you later, see you tomorrow.)” Kenny muffled out as they left the shop.

“He’s going to be a surprisingly good big brother.” Craig commented as soon as the door was shut. “(oh yeah especially if it’s a girl.)” Kenny replied watching the three of them till they were across the street and out of sight past the park.  
\---  
The next few days seemed normal and uneventful overall, except for a few notes from Kenny(with the help of Craig presumably) with scenarios for him to use to figure out what he’d want for a sibling. He’s admittedly grateful for the help even if the scenarios were a bit generic and hard to imagine for him. Karen and Trisha also say hi to him in the hallway now, much to the surprise of whomever he’s with. Kyle almost choked on his water, Stan nearly snapped his neck from turning his head between them so much, and Wendy mainly gave him a curious look. Everyone else’s reactions were similar to those three. Cartman also decided to pick up the girls with Kenny at one point.

“So You and Craig trade off on picking them up? Why? Aren't they big girls?”Cartman asked him during the first time he joined. “(Oh yeah definitely, but they have been having a bully problem after class and due to the fact that the girl thats bullying them is the secretary’s daughter, and were, the big siblings of the two bullied we can’t simply just beat her ass.)” Kenny explained with a heavy sigh. “Ah I see it can be traced back to you okay, so what, do you guys just get there before their class bell rings?” Cartman asked “(pretty much yeah gives us about 5 minutes or so from when we get let out.)” Kenny explained again as they got to the class. Cartman hummed in response as the 2nd grade bell went off and kids flooded out of the classroom, Karen and Trisha among them beelineing it to the two older boys, only to bypass Kenny completely in order to hug Cartman. “(um...rude)” Kenny replied before giggling at the overwhelmed look that Cartman was sporting at all the affection he was getting. “I’m going to have to get used to this am I?” Cartman asked, eventually hugging the two girls back. “(Yep.)” Kenny replied before they all headed out. Cartman did ask who the bully was but apparently she had left early because of a doctor’s appointment. So he’d have to find out later.  
\---  
That was a few days ago and today in class Craig and Kenny both got after school attention for some inappropriate response to a test. At lunch both were figuring out who could pick up the girls, but tweak got off of school early most days just to go to work, and butters were being picked up by his dad early too. Most of the others had after school activities or detention as well. Then they figured Cartman but because he had lunch detention he wasn’t there to ask so they left him a note in his locker hopeing he’d get it and get there in time.

Cartman did get the note and although already late to get there he wasn’t going to leave the girls high and dry, so off he went. He got there to see a taller 2nd grader shoving them against a couple of lockers, teasing about being abandoned by their stupid brothers. And although Cartman would normally get into the name calling of the two older siblings the tears in the younger siblings' eyes pissed him off. He took no time in pulling her by her shirt collar away from them and slam her against the lockers on the opposite side of the hallway. “Now you listen here you little bitch, you touch or come near these two again and and I'll do to you what I did to my half brother's parents.” Cartman growled out at her looking more angry than he has ever genuinely been. 

She struggled against him and spit at him. “So what did you do to them, piss on their bedsheets or something?” she asked in a sneer. Cartman grinned evilly at that and leaned closer so only she could hear him.”No I got them killed and then put them into chilli getting their son to eat them unknowingly, although im thinking the roles will be reversed and it will be your parents eating you. What do you think?” Cartman asked daring her to defy him now. She looked terrified by this point mumbling no and don’t incoherently. “What was that? You’ll leave them alone for good or that will be your fate? Yeah so I think you know the right option, and don’t bother telling on me or I'll do it anyway okay?” Cartman asked, stepping back as she nodded profusely and proceeded to book it down the hallway, not looking back. 

“Well she shouldn’t be bothering you two anymore.”Cartman explained turning to Karen and Tricha only to get hugged instantly. “I don’t know what you told her but she looked scared and I totally believe that she will leave us alone, thank you.” Tricha said burying her face into his side in relief. Karen was trying to wipe her tears away but she couldn’t get them to stop so Cartman just pulled her closer to him. “Don’t worry about getting tears on me, I have a washer. Now you two are probably wondering where your bros are. “T-that is one question on our minds yes.” Karen replied looking up at him, tears still flowing. “After school detention, they left me a note in my locker cause i had lunch detention, wanna go wait for them to get out?” Cartman asked simply. The two girls nodded so they headed to the gym where detention was held, stopping at the water fountains and bathrooms for the girls to drink and clean off their faces so not to concern their brothers too much. 

By the time they got to the gym, the brothers and anyone else in detention had 10 minutes left to go, from the doorway they could see them doing standards boredly. Mr. Mackey was overseeing detention and spotted the three of them. Seeing that two of them were the younger siblings he slyly and quietly pushed the timer up to 5 minutes less. Karen and Trisha smiled their thanks while taking a seat with Cartman outside, being sure to stay quiet while detention was in session. The five minutes came and went by in a flash which surprised all of the detention goers since that last ten minutes went by very fast. 

Craig and Kenny ended up in the back of the pack not expecting their sisters waiting for them with Cartman. “Hey you got the note.” Craig said in greeting as he noticed them. “(oh good wait what happened, you both look like you’ve cried.)”Kenny pointed out spotting some left over tear marks that they missed while washing. “Don’t worry Kenny, Eric took care of it, she wont bother us again. Which reminds me…” Karen said turning to Cartman along with Trisha who continued the thought. “What did you tell her to get her to look so scared and run off?” she asked, causing the look of curiosity to become apparent in both of the other boys (more so Kenny than Craig of course). Cartman gulped and laughed nervously. “Haha well that is something, that is not for either of you two girls to hear, I’ll be sure to tell your brothers here,and if they want to tell you then fine, but I’m not telling you.” 

“Oh come on Eric, tell us please?” Karen asked, starting to do the puppy face. “No can do, it’s not of your age group, just not something you should hear.” Cartman replied not budgeing at the glare Kenny gave him. “(Oh come on dude why not.)” Kenny asked stopping the glare since it wasn’t doing anything, and he was curious too. “Kenny...the Tenorman incident…” Cartman replied simply knowing that Kenny knew what he was talking about now. Kenny’s eyes widened and nodded in understanding. Craig raised an eyebrow looking to Kenny for an answer. “(so remember that chilli story I told you? That one.)” Kenny told him. “Oh. yeah you girls shouldn’t hear that story till your older okay.” Craig said putting his foot down “Aw man really? Ugh fine.” Trisha conceded angrily. “Oh alright then” Karen replied more acceptingly.

So with that cleared up they all headed out of the school and headed home. While the girls walked a few paces ahead going on about their side of what had happened, Cartman whispered to the brothers his side of things. This knowledge only helped their prediction of him being a good big brother, albeit a scary one if needed. They went towards the Tucker residence first since it was closer to the school, upon arrival Craig’s parents met them at the door and offered for Karen to spend the night, which she gladly took. She tried to see if they’d let Kenny stay because of their home situation, but they said they only planned for her and later on Tweak. “No worries Karen I’m sure my Mom will let him stay at my house.” Cartman offered without a thought. She thanked him and glomped him with a hug before following the Tuckers inside. Everyone said their goodbyes and Kenny and Cartman headed off again.

“(you don’t need to get your mom to let me stay, I can handle the rents just fine.)” Kenny said even though he’d most likely just go out as Mysterion again. “Nah too late I already told Karen, plus my mom considers you her favorite of my friends so she won't say no.” Cartman replied honestly even though both knew that she wouldn’t say no more because she knew Kenny’s situation was, not the cause of the favorite part. That's why she feeds him every time he’s over.  
“(yeah alright then, you sure you want me over though?)” Kenny asked in a simple tease. “Yeah I...I think I need to talk to you about my situation...with the sibling thing?” Cartman replied in a question. “(ohhhh alright then, I can do that)” Kenny replied with a smile glad that Cartman was going to open up to him finally, maybe even to himself.  
\---  
Later on at night since it was a friday, Kenny and Eric got to stay up later after Ms.Cartman went to bed, they decided on the way to wait till then to have their talk. Kenny had his hood down again and was sitting on the floor leaning against Eric’s bed, while Cartman was on a bean bag across for him. “Alright, so what do you want to talk about exactly?” Kenny asked simply. Cartman sighed willing himself to do what he planned. “I wanna be a big brother.” Cartman admitted aloud. 

The silence following was almost deafening, until a huge grin grew on Kenny’s face. “You admitted it.” He stated simply grinning wider after he said it. Cartman nodded looking away with a light blush. “Yeah...I did…” Cartman said with a relieved sigh. “Do you still not know what you want?” Kenny asked curiously. “Yeah...still figuring that part out.” Cartman replied before continuing. “I...I kinda want to tell everyone…” He admitted again while Kennny’s eyes grew wide. “Seriously, that’s a big step, you sure?” Kenny asked, sounding excited. “Yeah...I know...I don't know how I’m going to do it. I don’t think I can do it with everyone around, and mom would kill me if I screamed it from the rooftops.” Cartman replied

“You feel like doing that?” Kenny asked admittedly surprised. “Yeah, well it’s that kind of excitement at least, it's too fucking cold to actually do it.” Cartman explained. “Well...there’s always social media.” Kenny offered lifting Eric’s phone from the floor nearby. “True but I don’t want something generic.” Cartman replied thinking of what he could do. “Hmmm well is there anyone you’d like to tell or prove otherwise on this subject?” Kenny asked, getting an idea. Cartman furrowed his eyebrows at the question before glance at his clock which read 1:32 am. “Depends what’s the idea?” Cartman asked with a curious raised eyebrow. Kenny handed him his phone before picking up his own. “Call them on the speaker and I'll record, then we post it.sound good?” Kenny asked going though his phone for the video record. Despite his phone being a shitty government phone it took some nice pictures and video.

Cartman nodded liking the idea and thinking of who to call. His mind went back to all the different reactions he got on the first day back to school, and although many had similar looks there was one person who first had it. “I think I’ll call Wendy, wonder if I’ll fuck up her beauty sleep while I’m at it.” Cartman replied scrolling through his contacts. “Wendy? Oh because of that look alright I’ll start the record when you start calling.”Kenny replied 

Cartman nodded before starting the call and putting it on speaker as it started to ring. Kenny started recording on the second ring. It was the fourth ring that Wendy answered sounding like she had just woken up.

“You better have a good reason for calling me at almost two in the morning…”Wendy growled out over the phone. “Oh I do Testaburger, and that is: I want to be a big brother.” Cartman replied, receiving silence for a small moment. “....What?” Wendy asked, sounding confused. “You heard me, I want to be a big brother, I want to be the big brother to the kid growing inside my mother.” Cartman explained getting another batch of silence before she replied. “...Okay...so...why call me?” She asked, sounding skeptical. “Oh that, because the look you first gave me on the first day back to school really didn't sit well with me, and I wanted to prove to you that there is no reason for you to look sorry for my sibling.” Cartman replied this time, earning a reply quickly. “Oh...I see, I apologize, you were being very stubborn at first and that’s how I felt...um...congrats on your admittance I guess.” Wendy replied not sure how this conversation was supposed to go now. “That fine, no need to be sorry, certainly not as sorry as me and Kenny will be when you get us for putting you on speaker phone, recording and placing this conversation on social media, have a good night.” Cartman said before hanging up on a loud “Wait what?” from Wendy’s end. Cartman grinned before nodding to Kenny to post it.

Kenny did and tagged both Cartman and Wendy. Both were not at all surprised when Testaburger replied first. “YOU GUYS ARE ASSHOLES.” She typed in the comments first before following with another lowercase congratulations. Craig and Tweek liked the video and two comments not long after. Tweek commenting. “About time.” Craig liked his comment as well. The exchange made the two boys laugh. “Feels good to let that out now?” Kenny asked setting his notifications to watch the post. “Yeah It does...We should get to bed and see who sees that by the morning.” Cartman said getting up and going to his closet to snag his sleeping bag for Kenny before climbing into his bed. Kenny agreed before setting up the offered sleeping bag and both soon falling asleep.


End file.
